Aaron listened under the stairs. The house creaked. He liked it when the house creaked. It was exciting in a deferred moment of peril way. Somewhere near the kitchen, at the end of the L-shaped corridor, was his sister Abigail. She would also be waiting and listening. Abigail was good at this game, which they had modified from earlier years. They were teenagers now, into stronger excitement than his Action Man rescuing her Cindy doll. They wanted their kicks. Aaron had brought his friends over, and Abigail had brought her friends over. Their mother, Katherine, was out in the fields trying to keep safe.

Abigail waited at the end of the corridor, where it was dark at the junction of the boiler room, scullery, and kitchen. She knew Aaron was up ahead, hiding under the stairs. She also knew her girlfriends would be moving silently through the house. Time To Get Rid of Boys. It was World Games Day. They were well past Cindy dolls and Action Man now. Their dog, Montelukast, had run off across the fields at the first opportunity. Monty had not looked back. Monty knew that things were going to get messy.                                

Baird was hiding behind Aaron under the stairs. Baird had in his right hand a Roman soldier’s gladius, half out of its scabbard. Puberty had hit the red button and things had changed for all of them. They were looking for stronger excitement than Toy Story now. Baird also had a light crossbow in his left hand. His father had helped him to make it out of a beautiful piece of red oak. Baird had loaded a six-inch bolt, and the bowstring was wound back. The damage this small weapon could unleash beat Dungeons and Dragons any day of the week. And it was legal. It was World Games Day. Overpopulation was a global problem.

Barbara waited behind the kitchen door. The kitchen table was white with flour. The oven was cooling. Katherine had baked a peace offering: a Victoria sponge, a tray of cookies. She had also made lemonade. The oven was on outside; it was sweltering. Little winged insects called thrips flew in through the open windows and coated their faces with black smudges like camouflage. But cakes and cookies were not what the kids were after. Katherine had realised that and had disappeared. Aaron and Abigail’s father, Leonard, had decided he needed to go to work, even though it was a Saturday.

Barbara could hear Abigail breathing, but it was not Abigail’s fault. Barbara had superb hearing. She could, for instance, hear the boy who was hiding in the boiler room. Every so often, he shuffled on his bum where he sat on top of the boiler. Barbara would either deal with the boy, or warn Abigail, who would take care of him instead. Or they would make another move as dictated by whatever the girlfriends needed most. Down With Boys. All their looks and body scans and insinuations. The girls had waited patiently for World Games Day, and they were ready.

Cadman camped in the boiler room. He sat on top of the boiler and stared at the key in the lock of the boiler room door. The door was locked but it was made of a light and flimsy plywood that could easily be broken down. Outside were one or more girls, including Abigail, Aaron’s sister, the ring leader. Cadman knew it had been a mistake to hide in the boiler room. There was no window to escape through. It was in the nineties outside, and he was sweating buckets inside. He was fearful. He only had his bare hands. He had heard that the girlfriends fought like wild cats. What could he use for a weapon? There was a bunch of keys hanging from a hook. He imagined taking the pointiest key, holding it between his fingers, and stabbing an eye.                            

Caitlin suddenly appeared in front of Abigail. She had moved quickly from the dining room, next to the kitchen, keeping an eye on where Aaron and Baird hid under the stairs. She placed a finger on her lips and shushed Abigail and Barbara. She held up two fingers, in a V sign, and jabbed them towards the stairs. Abigal and Barbara nodded. Once upon a time, Aaron had led Caitlin on, and then when it had mattered most, he had let her down. There is nothing like a woman scorned, especially a young woman. Caitlin’s green eyes flashed. Her red hair was on fire. It would be three against two, a simple attack. Two fewer boys to offend them.

Dale crept into the scullery from outside. He closed the back door behind him quietly, or so he thought. The scullery housed a chest freezer, washing machine, and a large porcelain sink with a wooden draining board. There was a cupboard which held household cleaning materials. He remembered that the cupboard door was closed by a noisy ball bearing device that would make a loud click and get him killed. There must be something else useful in the scullery. But it all smelt so clean, of soap and laundry powder. There was a white clothes line hung across the length of the room with a variety of tea towels and hand towels drying. Then Dale saw a garden tool hidden behind the cupboard. He looked closely: it was a hoe with a three-pronged fork on one side of the blade.

Caitlin turned around and looked at the scullery door. Something had moved in the room. She drew her dagger and Abigail got out of the way. Caitlin approached the flimsy brown wooden door (all the doors in the house were brown and flimsy she had noticed) and stood listening. She bent down and looked through the key hole. Abigail saw her smile. Caitlin stood up and got ready. Barbara handed her an item from the kitchen that she would need. The three girls looked at one another. Caitlin opened the door and entered the scullery quickly. Abigail closed the door. Barbara kept guard with a rolling pin in her hand. There was a scuffle of feet inside the scullery. Something metallic fell with a clang on to the stone tiled floor. Then something much bigger hit the tiles with a thump. Abigail opened the door and saw Caitlin breathing hard over Dale’s body. She reached up and wiped her dagger on a clean tea towel on the clothes line.

Earl looked in through the scullery window from outside and saw Dale fall. That girl, Caitlin, one time love interest of Aaron’s, had touched something to the back of Dale’s head, at the level of the brainstem, and the teenage boy had collapsed out of sight. Dale had dropped something, a long pole, from his hand when he fell. Earl stood still and Caitlin did not see him. He opened the door of the white caravan parked on the drive, stepped inside, and closed the door. He turned the silver latch and locked himself in. This was World Games Day. They were a long way past Doctors and Nurses. In fact, there would be no medical assistance.

Caitlin was pumped. Nothing had ever felt that good. And it was legal! It was World Games Day. Overpopulation was a global problem. The sea levels were rising. Something had to be done. She opened the back door and listened for movement. She braced herself for an attack. The heat hit her instead. It was ninety in the shade. The tarmac was melting on the road. The water in the taps was warm but drinkable. No one had slept for days because it was so hot at night. She could smell the oil from the oil tank. The oil tank was big and black and stood on iron legs surrounded by a low brick wall. On previous visits she had hidden under the oil tank, and she hid there again now.

Fabian made the mistake of giving in to his weak bladder on this day of all days. He came downstairs from where he had been hiding in the fourth bedroom of this huge house and asked Abigail if he could go to the toilet. Abigail looked at Fabian as if he were the sweetest boy alive. She even opened the door to the toilet for him. In the toilet, Fabian unzipped his fly, but then realised Abigail was standing behind him. Fabian was a small boy, and Abigail, while slight, was strong. She kicked him in the back of the knees, and he fell forwards. She pushed his head into the toilet bowl and held it there until Fabian stopped struggling and relaxed.

Kieran opened another one of the curiously flimsy wooden doors in Aaron and Abigail’s parents’ huge house and hid away in the study. It was a nice room, with two upholstered armchairs with antimacassars across their backs. There were many books in the bookcases. Kieran locked the study door and listened. The game had just started. He was one of the older boys and he did not agree with the game. Nevertheless, he had brought a long cruciform sword with him. With his reach, and the extended reach of the sword, no girl would be foolish enough to play the game with him. He sat down behind Aaron and Abigail’s father’s desk and started to read his post.

Diane crept along the upstairs corridor, which mirrored the one below. She was the youngest girl and was excited by the game. It would be fun. World Games Day! She loved playing games. The older girls shook their heads and told her that she did not get it. She needed to grow up. Abigail told Diane that she had to be strong and kill any boy who came looking for her. Diane agreed, but secretly wondered how she would do that. Perhaps some sort of magic spell, or special mental power? The house was quiet now. Her throat was dry, and she was sleepy. She found Abigail’s bedroom, near the bathroom, slid under the bed and stayed there.

Gabriel had been waiting on the look out by the garage next to the oil tank and the caravan. After half an hour he had seen nothing happen. Then he had seen Caitlin and Dale briefly in the scullery window. He had taken a step forward out of the shadows, ready to run into the house through the back door to help Dale, when he saw Dale slump to the floor. Gabriel had frozen. It was Caitlin who had come out of the back door, and who was now exploring under the oil tank. She held something in her hand that looked like a dagger. A face suddenly appeared in one of the caravan’s windows. It was Earl. Gabriel watched as the door to the caravan opened slightly. He crept across the drive and the caravan door opened wide enough for him to get in.

Echo got up from behind one of the two sofas in the lounge. Aaron and Abigail lived in a nice house, with large rooms, and nice furniture. The lounge was particularly spacious. There was a fireplace, with all the usual fire irons. The sofa was made of genuine leather, and today it was hot and sticky. There were double doors that opened outwards from the lounge down a grassy slope to the lawn. Echo hid behind a curtain and inspected the lawn. Croquet hoops were laid out. Some of the croquet balls and all the mallets were missing. Echo felt the thrips land on her face. She did not think a croquet mallet was her kind of weapon.

Aaron had heard enough of the action from the scullery, to get moving from out under the stairs. The back door had opened and there was the tell-tale atonal clanging of someone banging around under the oil tank. Caitlin, he thought; she was trouble. He moved on his front, slowly pushing forward like a snake down the corridor. He stopped at the right angle in the corridor, just past the lounge, near the door to the dining room. He looked ahead and saw Abigail hunkered down in the shadows of the scullery door, smiling back at him. He crouched, like a turtle, and waited.

Echo, meanwhile, had found the ideal weapon with which to deal with the boy who had just slithered past the lounge door towards the kitchen. The black metal poker was two feet long and heavy enough to knock someone out over the back of the head. She stood behind the door of the lounge and listened. The house creaked in the heat. Her throat was parched. She remembered Abigail’s mother, Katherine, saying something about baking cookies and a cake in the kitchen. That woman needed to be liberated! Down With Boys! Down With Men! What were they good for, apart from the obvious. She gripped the poker and imagined the back of the boy’s head.

Hadden was in the porch. He had entered the house through the front door just as Kieran had entered the study and locked the door. Hadden locked the front door. He would have locked the adjoining door from the porch to the corridor, but he could not find the key. So, he kept hold of the metal door handle, and pulled it upwards to keep the door closed. He knew he would not be able to hold the handle up for long, not if two or three girls pulled down on the handle from the other side. He needed a plan. He would capture a girl and hold her hostage.

Faith crawled out from under the dining room table where she had been hiding with Caitlin. No one had entered the room, although she had heard movements outside in the corridor. The dining room had a certain reverence. The long table had a nice tablecloth and candlesticks. The sideboard held decanters of port and sherry. There was a painting depicting the Last Supper over the sideboard. Faith desperately wanted to play the piano that stood alongside one wall. Perhaps when this was all over, and the boys had surrendered or had been killed. She realised she needed a weapon. Silently, she opened the drawers in the sideboard and found a letter opener.     

Ian, wisely he thought, had moved to the boundary of the garden where he waited crouched down behind a bush. Everyone else had charged inside the house to find weapons or assume their favourite places. But what was it the soldiers said? No point rushing to a defeat. Survey the land first. Make a good plan. Execute the plan. Ian did not particularly get off on killing people, even if it was World Games Day, and overpopulation and rising sea levels really were a problem. But he would do what he had to. He gripped a machete, which he had found in the greenhouse. The heavy bladed weapon had been used to clear brambles on the field margin. He would use it to clear this nest of vipers if he had to.           

Gabrielle was Gabriel’s annoying little sister. She had just turned thirteen and was allowed to play the game for the first time. Gabriel was fifteen and in Gabrielle’s eyes he was the most annoying twerp in the world who had to be got rid of as soon as possible. Now it was World Games Day when games came to life. Gabrielle, who had been hiding on the grassy slope behind the garage, sauntered into the scullery and looked at Dale’s body on the floor. She really hoped the red puddle behind his head was tomato ketchup, but she could not be sure, not with Caitlin on the warpath. She heard Caitlin muttering and swearing under the oil tank. Gabrielle then looked out of the window and saw Gabriel go and hide in the caravan, and, for a moment, their eyes met.

Gabriel had a saying about his little sister, Gabrielle. He trusted her about as far as he could throw her. Now that Gabrielle had turned thirteen, Gabriel could not even pick her up anymore. From behind the drawn curtains of the caravan, Gabriel saw Gabrielle enter the scullery by the back door, look at something on the floor, then leave again. A single glance had passed between them. Gabriel knew he had seconds to act. Earl remained locked in the caravan’s tiny bathroom and was no use to anybody. In biology, at school, Gabriel had learnt about the flight or fight reaction, but there was also the freeze reaction. Earl had frozen. Gabriel on the other hand would fight. He snapped the cord holding up the curtain across the window and took it with him as he exited the caravan. He was quiet when he outflanked his sister, circling around the garage, and creeping up on her as she pulled upon the door to the caravan. He wrapped the cord around her neck twice and pulled it tight. She went down without a sound, but he held on for several moments.

Hayley had had enough. She had hidden between two rows of marrows grown big and fat with enormous leaves in the freakish hot weather. She had seen that boy, Ian, search around and inside the greenhouse and find a machete. She did not want any part of this game. When they had arrived at the house, they had turned up in a hay trailer pulled by a tractor. They were in the middle of farming country. The house was isolated. There were no immediate neighbours. She had been struck by the fact that the family dog had run away immediately, dashing through the wheat fields, never to come back. Aaron had told Abigail to play nice, and Abigail had replied no chance. Then everyone scattered. It was World Games Day, and everyone knew what that meant.

Gabriel was pumped by the disposal of his annoying sister. He undid the cord and looked at the deep red marks it had left on her neck. He felt emboldened. Might has well hang for a sheep as for a lamb, he thought, although, hanging was not a concern, not today. Overpopulation was a problem, the sea levels were rising, and there were too many people and not enough dry land. He was doing his bit for society. So was Caitlin. But this was a game, and it was boys versus girls. The boys would have to win. He would find Caitlin and demonstrate this to her.

Caitlin watched as Gabriel dispensed with his little sister, and with a window cord too she marvelled. Truly he was a worthy opponent. She had lost her dagger while rummaging around the oil tank, looking for boys hiding. She needed another weapon, and where in a house were weapons stored but the kitchen? She waited until Gabriel stalked up the grassy slope behind the garage. to where he liked to hide. Then she crept into the house through the back door. Abigail was standing at the end of the corridor, watching Aaron creep on his belly towards her. Sometimes those two let the side down with their childish ways. Caitlin left Abigail to it and went into the kitchen. She jumped as Barbara appeared behind the door, but Barbara shied away and hid under the table. Caitlin shrugged: never send a girl to do a woman’s work. She inspected the knives in the wooden block. It was a choice between a large flat butcher’s knife that was blunt, and the bread knife, which was wickedly sharp at every tooth.  In the end, she picked up both.

Jack had been waiting in the largest bedroom for the longest time. He thought that this game was meant to be fun. The other boys had warned him that he needed to pop his cherry today, or this would be the last time he would be invited to World Games Day. He opened the bedroom door and looked down the corridor. The bathroom door was open. He saw the blue surround of the bath and the white tiles on the wall. He expected the shower curtain to be pulled across, and for someone to be hiding behind it, just as in a horror movie, but this was not necessarily a horror movie. He looked out of the windows at the front of the house and over the fields. The air above the golden wheat shimmered in a haze. Jack needed a drink; it was so hot in the house, even with the windows open. He rubbed the tiny black flies called thrips across his face. Then he noticed the door to the bedroom next to the bathroom was open and went in.               

Ida watched Hayley climb over the fence into the wheat field. Hayley had run, stumbled, and then walked through the swaying ears of corn away from the house. In the distance, a combine harvester kicked up a cloud of dust. Ida hoped that Hayley did not meet with the type of accident commonly seen in horror movies, but Ida could see why Hayley had run away. Ida had had enough too, enough of dehydration and boredom. All the boys had hidden so well there was no-one to find and kill. She had watched Gabriel strangle Gabrielle, and while he now stalked Caitlin, Ida had quietly stolen in through the back door.

Dale was unmoving on the scullery floor, and Ida saw that there were flies in tomato ketchup behind his head. Abigail stood outside the scullery estimating her brother, Aaron, who was lying on his belly in the middle of the corridor. Barbara was in the kitchen under the table, eating a cookie. Caitlin was wearing a red apron with two knives stuck in the belt made by the apron strings. Ida took a tall glass and drew a long drink of water from the tap. The water was warm, but it was refreshing. This was the hottest World Games Day ever. Obviously, climate change was a problem. Sea levels were rising, cities and coastlines would disappear. There were too many people, and not enough dry land. World Games Day was a solution the children had invented.

The bedroom near the bathroom appeared deserted. Given the posters of pop stars and unicorns, Jack guessed that it was Abigail’s room. There was a single bed, a dresser, a table with a diary, and school books in plastic bags on the floor. On the window sill were two Top Trumps boxes. In each plastic box was a dead fly. He saw a dog, a brown Springer Spaniel in the wheat field and a woman walking towards the house. There were one or two splats of rain on the window. He sat down on the bed. After a while he felt a faint, warm breathing on his ankles below his long shorts. He looked down and recognised Diane. She was asleep. A girl, at his mercy! This would be a great World Games Day! He thought about how he would do it. Then he got up quietly and removed all the books from a plastic bag. With the bag tied over her head, Danielle would re-breath carbon dioxide and pass out painlessly from hypercapnia. He felt quite proud of this humane method.

Echo had waited in the lounge holding the poker for a long time. No-one entered the room, and no-one even came near the lounge door or walked past the open French doors on the path around the house. It was baking hot, and the humidity had suddenly increased. The sky was dark with black clouds overhead and now the rain fell. She figured that the rain would bring the boys out of hiding, and then she would have some fun with her poker.

Cadman had to get out of the boiler room. His T-shirt was soaked with sweat. His legs were cramped. If he met Caitlin or any other of the nutcase girls, then he would take his chances with his bare hands. He got down off the boiler and put his feet on the floor. He felt weak. He gave himself a minute. Then he opened the door and stumbled into the corridor. The door hit Abigail in the face; she fell back. Cadman lurched down the corridor, where he stepped on a body on the ground. Aaron swore at him. Cadman reached the stairs and crawled upwards, eager to get away.

Echo stepped through the French doors and into the garden. She smelt the beautiful mix of grass and flowers and looked up into the splattering rain. She was invigorated. She hefted the poker up and swung it around her head. Who was for a head-topping, she asked? She looked around for boys silly enough to mess with her.

Jack left Dianne under the bed and crept downstairs. He passed Cadman coming up the stairs; he looked awful and raised his hands to fend off any attack. Jack told Cadman to go into the bedroom at the stop of the stairs and hide there. At the foot of the stairs, Jack saw Aaron hugging Abigail, which he did not think was in the rules. He saw the open French doors and the rain coming down in the garden, and went into the lounge, which appeared deserted. Jack sat down on the sofa, which was a mistake, typically seen in horror movies.

Jacqueline, Jack’s older sister, stood up from behind the sofa. She grabbed Jack and put him in a head lock. All was fair on World Games Day. Blood was thicker than water, but the problem was there would soon be too much water, and not enough dry land for people to stand on. Jack had to go down. She hoped he would understand.

Dale got up off the floor of the scullery and felt the back of his head. His hand came away red with what he confirmed with a brave flick of his tongue was tomato ketchup. The rain was lashing down outside. He had heard scuffles around the house while he had been lying on the scullery floor, playing his part well he thought. He went into the kitchen. Caitlin looked murderous in a red apron, and he noted the knives in the apron strings. He blew her a kiss, and she reciprocated with a wink. He found Abigail and Aaron talking in the dining room. Aaron whirled his right index finger around. It was time to wind up the game.

In the lounge, Jack was wrestling with Jacqueline. He had turned the tables and had his sister in a chokehold. Her face was red, his biceps straining as he ignored her slapping his arm. Aaron and Dale pulled Jack off her and reminded Jack that it was just a game. Abigail led Jacqueline away to the kitchen where all could hear her crying. Cadman sat on the stairs complaining about cramp. Caitlin came by, without the knives, and told him to stop being such a baby. Ida and Faith started playing the piano in the dining room. In the garden, misty with rain, Baird was chasing Echo with his crossbow. He fired the bolt which thudded into a fence post. Echo screamed, dropped the poker, and ran into the field after Hayley. Ian ran after her waving his machete. Kieran ran after Ian waving his sword.

Barbara and Katherine brought cookies to everyone in the lounge. Abigail and Aaron thanked their friends for playing. Fabian thanked Abigail for the refreshing plunge of his head in the toilet. Gabrielle was not so impressed with her brother, Gabriel, whose eagerness with the window cord had left genuine red marks on her neck. Caitlin said Dale had played his part to perfection, and he was awarded Most Valuable Player at this year’s World Games Day. Aaron asked where Earl was and eventually, Hadden found him in the caravan.

It took a while for Abigail to tally her girlfriends and ask if anyone had seen Diane.

© Mark Carew 2024

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